Saqib Rather
Srinagar, Sep 18: She knows when her child has a fever, when her husband needs medicine and when an elderly parent has to be taken to hospital. She remembers everyone’s appointments, prescriptions and meals.
But when it comes to her own health, the appointment can wait.
That quiet habit of putting everyone else first is becoming an important part of the conversation around women’s health in Kashmir. Doctors and health researchers say women often continue working through pain, weakness, menstrual problems and other symptoms, treating them as something they have to live with rather than conditions that deserve medical attention.
“Women tend to put their family before themselves. They often ignore their own symptoms until they become difficult to manage,” a Srinagar-based gynaecologist said.
The problem is not always a lack of awareness. For many women, healthcare is competing with responsibilities that appear more urgent every day.
A mother may postpone a check-up because her children need her. A daughter caring for an ageing parent may not want to leave home for an appointment. A woman working both inside and outside the home may simply feel that there is no time left for herself.
One of the most easily ignored symptoms is persistent tiredness.
Women often attribute weakness, dizziness or exhaustion to household work, lack of sleep or the demands of raising a family. But persistent fatigue can also be associated with conditions such as anaemia and other health problems.
The latest available National Family Health Survey data recorded anaemia among 61.4 per cent of women aged 15–49 in Jammu and Kashmir, including both pregnant and non-pregnant women. Among women aged 15–19, the proportion was 71.5 per cent.
“Constant tiredness should not always be dismissed as part of a woman’s routine,” the gynaecologist said. “If weakness, dizziness or fatigue continues, it deserves medical attention.”
For some women, however, the decision to seek care comes only after symptoms begin affecting their ability to look after others.
A woman may take her child for a routine examination but postpone her own screening. She may accompany her husband to a hospital but ignore a health problem she has been experiencing for months.
Researchers studying women’s experiences with breast cancer in Kashmir have documented how embarrassment and the reluctance to discuss symptoms can contribute to delayed screening and diagnosis.
“Women should not wait for a health problem to become severe before they seek help,” the doctor said. “Regular check-ups are not a luxury. They are part of preventing disease and detecting problems early.”
The need for preventive care becomes particularly important as women grow older, when the risk of several chronic and reproductive health conditions changes.
Pain is another symptom women can learn to live with. Back pain, joint pain, headaches, menstrual pain and other recurring symptoms can gradually become part of a woman’s daily routine.
Research involving women with chronic illnesses in Kashmir has also highlighted how family responsibilities and social expectations can influence women’s ability to seek treatment.
Doctors say repeatedly working through pain does not necessarily mean the condition is harmless.
“Pain should not be normalised simply because a woman has been living with it for a long time,” a physician said. “Persistent pain needs to be assessed rather than repeatedly tolerated.”
The distinction is important because early treatment can sometimes prevent a condition from becoming more disabling.
Some health problems remain particularly difficult to discuss openly.
Menstrual abnormalities, urinary problems, reproductive health conditions, breast changes and menopausal symptoms may be kept private because women feel embarrassed or fear being misunderstood.
A woman may consider unusually heavy bleeding temporary. Another may ignore a breast change because she is afraid of what a doctor might say.
Researchers studying women with breast cancer in Kashmir have found that embarrassment surrounding breast-related symptoms contributed to delayed disclosure and screening among some participants.
“Any new or unusual change in the breast, persistent abnormal bleeding or unexplained pain should be discussed with a doctor,” the physician said. “Silence does not make the symptom disappear.”
For women living in remote areas, the decision to seek treatment can involve more than simply making an appointment.
Travel, transport, household responsibilities and access to specialist services can all influence whether a woman reaches a healthcare facility.
A consultation that may take an hour in Srinagar can become a full-day journey for someone living in a distant village.
And if a woman has children or elderly family members depending on her, arranging that journey becomes even more difficult.
“Access is only one part of the problem,” the doctor said. “A woman also needs the time, freedom and family support to use.
The consequences of ignoring women’s health are not limited to the woman herself.
When a mother becomes seriously ill, children may need care from other relatives. When a woman responsible for household work develops a disabling condition, the entire family’s routine can be disrupted.
That makes women’s healthcare a family issue as much as an individual one.
Yet the first person to notice the problem is often the woman herself.
She knows that her periods have changed. She knows that the pain has lasted longer than usual. She knows that the tiredness is different from ordinary tiredness.
The challenge is convincing her that those signals deserve attention.
Healthcare workers say the idea of a woman being “strong” should not mean that she has to tolerate illness silently.
“Taking care of yourself does not mean neglecting your family,” the doctor said. “A woman who looks after everyone also needs somebody to look after her.”
The message is particularly important in households where women continue to carry much of the unpaid responsibility for cooking, childcare, elder care and household management.
The woman who remembers everyone’s medicine needs to remember her own.
The woman who takes everyone else for check-ups needs one too. And the woman who keeps telling herself that her health can wait may eventually discover that it cannot. For Kashmir’s women, doctors say, caring for oneself should not be seen as selfishness. It should be seen as healthcare.
